My fate was sealed when I was assigned the role of Lucy Pevensie in our fourth grade radio show adaptation of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I had always known that discovering some magical land was just around the corner, just behind the next closet door. And, Lucy had always been my favorite book character. With her spunk, determination and belief in all things magical. I was certain that I was given this role because it was inevitable that I would, in fact, be the one to find magic in this world.
It is easy to understand why I experienced a high level of anticipation and disappointment. The bark on the tree outside the window that resembled the face of a wise sorcerer trapped among the branches was certain to speak to me someday or at least wink. The silver coin imprinted with letters that was embedded in our sidewalk really did send us secret codes, didn't it? And, there were the closets. Each new closet or attic held the possibility that I would indeed find my way into Narnia. Even though I believed in the possibility of magic existing far longer than I should have, I did eventually grow out of it. Until yesterday...
As Jose and I were seated in the waiting room of the radiology department, I shared my anxiety for the ultrasound and my hope that it was one of those new 3-D ultrasounds. So, when we entered the dimly lit room and gazed at the monitors, I felt the all too familiar anticipation give way to disappointment. It was definitely a regular, old ultrasound. I reassured myself that this still would be a good experience and settled onto the examination table, giving my husband a smile.
When the first image flickered onto the screen, however, I resumed my role as Lucy, stepping through the wardrobe and into a land so unfamiliar and magical that I was certain it couldn't possibly be real. The tiny person that I logically knew was growing inside me became real as I saw a face, ribs, an arm with a tiny fist curled up by the face. And, oh, the feet. As ten precious toes were captured on the screen in that stark room, something transformed inside of me. An entire land of possibility spread before me and I felt my heart expand to greet it all.